Frequently Asked Questions
Question: This all looks a little suspicious. Did you two actually write the book?
Absolutely not! The book was written by Majors Victor Cornwall and St. John Trevelyan. We are legally obliged to publish their work.
Question: Is everything in this book true?
Warning! Never ask the Majors this question. Despite being in their nineties they are incredibly short-tempered and quick with their fists. The Majors claim that it is 100% true, every word.
Question: Will there be a third volume?
Sadly there will be a Volume Three. The Major's have assured us that the explosive denouement to their memoirs will provide an ending that's as satisfying as a Heavy Betsy chest rub. Unfortunately we are also legally obliged to publish this too.
Question: Will the third volume be the final volume?
Scoundrels: Volume Three will conclude the timeline of the majors memoirs up to the present day. However, they have already informed us that they have far more stories to tell about individual incidents and adventures that happened throughout their lives. Our fear is that there is more to come.
Question: Where can I buy these books?
I'm afraid you can buy any of the Scoundrels series from all good bookshops and online retailers.
Question: I have been trying to call upon the Majors by visiting the villages of Great Trundleford and Pullen-Under-Lyme, where they live, but I've had no joy. Can you help?
No. For security reasons the Majors have changed their addresses, although Hellcat Manor and Nimbu Towers do exist. Even if you could find them we'd advise against it. They have a tendency to strike first and ask questions later.
Question: How did you get into this daft situation?
A motorcycle courier turned up at our offices with a package containing a manuscript, which we signed for in the usual way. We did not realise that we were signing a cast-iron publishing contract massively in the Majors' favour. There's a lesson there for everyone.
Question: Can I read this to my 8 year old?
Absolutely not! This is barely suitable for adults, and certainly not suitable for children. Please don't let them anywhere near it.